Alright, bud, get ready to whip up some Hoser Tails – the kind of treat that’ll hit the spot after a day of skiing at Hockley Valley or enjoying a chilly Oshawa Generals game. Time to get cozy, shed those winter layers, and make something that’ll have you saying, “That’s gold!” faster than a slapshot. Grab your six pack, and lets get cooking. And there no Chef hat in a Canadian Kitchen, we all wear toques.
What You’ll Need, Eh?
- ½ cup warm water (110°F / 45°C – not quite as warm as a sauna at the Millcroft Inn & Spa, but the perfect temp to get things going)
- 5 teaspoons active dry yeast (it’s what makes everything rise, like indoor sky diving at ifly in Whitby)
- 1 pinch white sugar
- 1 cup warm milk (110°F / 45°C – what it feels like stepping into a warm cabin after a day on the slopes)
- 3 large eggs, beaten (Beat ‘em good – like you’re shaking the dust off a Hudson’s Bay blanket)
- ⅓ cup vegetable oil (For that golden crispy finish, like the crunch of a snowy trail)
- ⅓ cup white sugar
- 1 ½ teaspoons salt (A little balance, eh? Like that perfect amount of seasoning on poutine)
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 5 cups whole wheat flour (Get it from Tyrone Mills in Clarington– where they grind it just like you grind your teeth on the 401 during rush hour)
- 1 quart vegetable oil for frying (For when you want your Hoser Tails to be crispy and golden)
Cinnamon Sugar:
- 2 cups white sugar (Sweet enough to make you think you’re dreaming)
- ½ teaspoon ground cinnamon, or to taste (Just the right amount of spice to warm you up)
Directions – Let’s Get to It, Eh?
- Activate the Yeast – In a big bowl, mix together the warm water, yeast, and a pinch of sugar. Let it sit for about 5 minutes, until it’s nice and creamy, just like that first sip of hot cocoa at Nexus in Uxbridge after being out in the cold.
- Prep the Dough – While your yeast is working its magic, grease up another large bowl. You want everything ready, like packing up for a road trip – it’s all about being prepared. Set the bowl aside.
- Mix ‘Er All Together – Stir in the warm milk, eggs, vegetable oil, sugar, salt, and vanilla into your yeast mixture. Mix it until the sugar dissolves – smooth like a freshly plowed road on a winter morning. Then, add about 2 ½ cups of flour and stir until it’s all incorporated. No dry spots, bud!
- Knead the Dough – Turn the dough out onto a floured surface and knead in the rest of the flour, ½ cup at a time. You want it smooth, like the first run down a freshly groomed hill at Brimacombe. Knead it for about 10 minutes until it’s all smooth and elastic.
- Let ‘Er Rise – Shape the dough into a ball and place it in your greased bowl. Cover it with a towel and let it rise for about an hour, or until it’s doubled in size. Just like how the dough rises, your excitement for these Hoser Tails will grow!
- Shape the Tails – Punch the dough down (but gently, bud) and knead it a few more times. Pinch off dough about the size of a hockey puck and roll it out into an oval shape, about ¼-inch thick. Place them on a dish towel, cover them up, and keep rolling out the rest.
- Heat the Oil – Heat about 4 inches of vegetable oil in a deep fryer or large saucepan to 375°F (190°C). You want that oil nice and hot, like the coals of a fire after a day of cross country skiing at the Trail Hub.
- Make the Cinnamon Sugar – In a shallow dish, mix the sugar and cinnamon. Set it aside for when you’re ready to coat those warm Hoser Tails.
- Fry ‘Em Up – Lower the dough into the hot oil in batches. Fry them for about 1 to 2 minutes per side, until they’re golden brown – just like that perfect snowball fight between friends. Drain them on paper towels and press them gently into the cinnamon sugar while they’re still warm. Shake off the excess, but make sure you’ve got enough sweetness to make it count.
Serve ‘Em Up, Eh?
Now you’ve got yourself a plate of Hoser Tails – golden and crispy, perfect after a long day of winter fun. Serve them up with a cup of hot cocoa, a coffee, or even some maple syrup for dipping (because everything’s better with maple syrup, right?). These treats are perfect for sharing after a chilly day at the skating rink in Scugog or a cozy afternoon by the fire.
So go ahead, bud, dig in. Enjoy those Hoser Tails with your crew and take a moment to appreciate winter the Canadian way.
1. S’mores Hoser Tails – For the Sweet Tooth, Eh?
Why not bring the classic campfire treat into your Hoser Tails? S’mores are the ultimate Canadian indulgence after a chilly winter day outdoors.
What You’ll Need:
- 1 cup mini marshmallows
- 1 cup crushed graham crackers
- 1 cup milk or semi-sweet chocolate chips
Directions:
Once you’ve made your Hoser Tails, drizzle them with melted chocolate, sprinkle with crushed graham crackers, and top with mini marshmallows. Stick them under the broiler for 30 seconds to toast the marshmallows and get that campfire feel. Sweet enough to make you want to start a snowball fight, eh?
2. Peanut Butter Chocolate Hoser Tails – A Nutty Delight, Eh?
If you’re a peanut butter fan, this one’s for you, bud. Chocolate and peanut butter are a match made in heaven, and now they’ve found their perfect home in a crispy Hoser Tail.
What You’ll Need:
- ½ cup peanut butter (smooth or crunchy, your choice)
- 1 cup milk or dark chocolate chips
- 1 tablespoon vegetable oil (to help melt the chocolate)
Directions:
After frying your Hoser Tails, melt the chocolate chips and peanut butter together with a tablespoon of vegetable oil until smooth. Drizzle the peanut butter-chocolate sauce over the tails and let it set. It’s like biting into a chocolate bar, but a whole lot more satisfying, eh?
3. White Chocolate & Cranberry Hoser Tails – A Fruity Twist, Eh?
White chocolate and cranberries are a perfect pairing for a more festive, fruity version of Hoser Tails. It’s like a winter treat that says “I’m classy and sweet, but I can still get down, eh?”
What You’ll Need:
- 1 cup dried cranberries
- 1 cup white chocolate chips
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Directions:
Once your Hoser Tails are fried and golden, melt the white chocolate and stir in a splash of vanilla extract. Drizzle the melted chocolate over the warm tails and sprinkle with dried cranberries. The tart cranberries perfectly balance out the sweetness of the white chocolate, just like a good snowshoeing trail through the forest.
4. Garlic Cheddar Hoser Tails – Savoury Delight, Eh?
For the savoury-loving crowd, this version’s for you, bud. Think of it as the perfect pairing with a cold beer or a warm bowl of soup after a long day outdoors.
What You’ll Need:
- 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese (sharp or mild, your choice)
- 2 cloves garlic, minced
- 1 tablespoon dried herbs (oregano or thyme work great)
Directions:
For the Garlic Cheddar Hoser Tails, you’ll skip the usual cinnamon sugar and instead incorporate minced garlic, shredded cheddar cheese, and herbs into the dough while kneading it on your floured surface. This creates a cheesy, garlicky goodness in every bite. Once they’re fried, top them with a little more cheddar, garlic, and a sprinkle of herbs for that delicious, savoury finish. It’s like your favourite cheesy bread, but with a fun twist – the perfect snack after a day in the snow.
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